by Lu Ann Staheli
The Christmas season provides a great opportunity for us to express gratitude for all the gifts we receive, both temporal and spiritual. As the gospel topics library reminds us, “Gratitude is a feeling of appreciation and thankfulness for blessings or benefits we have received. As we cultivate a grateful attitude, we are more likely to be happy and spiritually strong. We should regularly express our gratitude to God for the blessings He gives us and to others for the kind acts they do for us.”
But expressing gratitude by giving thanks seems to have slipped from the basic manners of our society. A more narcissistic generation of me, me, me has taken on the attitude of entitlement, that others are there to serve them, and that expressing gratitude of any kind is a sign of weakness. The more genteel culture of yesteryear seems to have been overtaken by the rush of the information age, leaving us in the wake of rudeness and unreasonable demands.
But we don’t need to stay there. We’ve been told, “Be in the world, not of it.” We can take small steps to bring back common courtesy and enrich our own lives as a result. To quote a popular song, “If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”
Here are five ways each of us can make that change:
Say Thank You. Although saying thank you should be the easiest part of expressing gratitude, it often seems this simple gesture is too often forgotten. Become aware of everything that is done for you throughout a single day by your spouse, children, friends, co-workers, service workers, and your Father in Heaven. When I started keeping a gratitude journal, I thought I’d never be able to fill in five things to be grateful for each day. Now I could fill those slots a hundredfold. Take the time to give thanks for even the smallest assistance and you will see more blessings come into your life.
Accept Favors Graciously. It’s all too easy to attempt to negate the kindness of others. When someone offers you a compliment, thank them without explaining why you feel unpraiseworthy. This was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever been given. Learning to only say thank you was not easy, but the change in the way it has made me feel after the praise, and the response from the givers, has proven time and again that the advice was sage. When others offer assistance, fight the urge to refuse help because of your pride. Know that the service you receive will bless not only you as the receiver, but the giver as well. Do not deny others those blessings. Your turn will come soon enough.
Return the Kindness. And when it does, return the kindness without having to be asked. Look for ways you can be of assistance. The smallest favor may be of great worth to he who receives. One of the most memorable things a visiting teacher did for me was to take my young children out for pizza while I was recovering from the flu. The undisturbed hour toward my recovery and my hungry children being fed was worth far more to me than the cost of the meal. What can you do to make your neighbor’s burden lighter? Sometimes all it takes is a smile or a kind word.
Show Your Gratitude. You may think taking a plate of cookies or a bouquet of flowers to someone is too Molly Mormon, but an expression of gratitude for favors done is still a nice thing to do. One of the things my mother taught me was to always express your gratitude in writing. I’ve seen formal thank you notes fade away from gift-giving at an all-too rapid pace. Even if postage costs prohibit the formality of a card following birthday, graduation, and wedding presents, a personalized e-mail costs the receiver nothing but time. Of course, a sincere thank you in person is also appropriate.
Pay It Forward. The Lord blesses us all with abundance. Look for ways you can share that wealth all year round. Additional donations on your tithes and offerings, time spent on service projects, even serving in the temple are ways to show your gratitude to the Lord, and to bless the lives of others. Just like the character Trevor McKinney found in the book of the same name, putting only three good deeds out into the universe and asking others to do the same can cause a ripple effect of staggering proportions in a short amount of time. Three good deeds a month from each of us would bring an abundance of spiritual gifts into the world.
As we read in Doctrine and Covenants 78:19, "He who receiveth all things with thankfulness shall be made glorious". Giving thanks can and should become a part of our everyday lives. We owe it to others; we owe it to God; and we owe it to ourselves.
Lu Ann Staheli is the author of When Hearts Conjoin and a member of the Wolf Hollow 1st Ward, Spanish Fork Utah South Stake.
